Eternally Yours 1 Page 17

  Jodie scrambled to explain. “I-it wasn’t intentional. I was exhausted. Luc meant to help me get to my room, but somehow, something between us went haywire.”

  Serenity’s smile held no malice. “What happened between you and Luc is not unnatural or haywire. You’re two very attractive people.”

  Ha. She was half-right. Luc was gorgeous, in a snotty, alpha-male kinda way that repelled her as much as it attracted her.

  “I’m never half-right. You are a beautiful, vibrant, generous woman. You and Luc complement each other well. It’s only natural you would bind yourselves in that most delicate of embraces. There is no shame in your actions. I also understand that afterward, in your confusion over what had happened, you needed the comforts of the familiar. And so you ran to Gabriel.”

  “I felt so incredibly guilty. Like I’d betrayed him. I needed to see him, to explain…” A picture of Gabe with his new wife and new baby leapt into her mind and she swallowed the bitter taste of envy.

  “But, as you soon learned, those doors are now closed to you.”

  “Oh, yeah. I learned all right.” This time, she didn’t need to ask how Serenity knew.

  “Surely Luc told you that time does not exist in the Afterlife. We are beyond the sun and moon, so we have no need to measure hours, days, or even years. However, regardless of what occurs here, time continues to journey on Earth. In your mind, your visit today occurred shortly after your death. Perhaps months or even weeks later.”

  She nodded, toyed with a pretty pink cookie, but never drew it to her lips. Food had no appeal. The tea, however, soothed her somersaulting belly.

  “Would it surprise you to know that you’ve been dead for more than four earth years now?”

  Jodie, caught in mid-sip, choked on her tea. “Four…?”

  “There are many reasons the Board prefers spirits to remain here once they arrive. Time is only one of those reasons. Had you made contact with Gabriel, you might have disrupted the plan we have instituted to move him forward.”

  She suddenly remembered the dishtowels. Those stupid daisies. Of course they weren’t Gabe’s taste, but they definitely fitted a woman’s whimsical side. The woman who’d stolen what should have been hers. A tear lingered on her eyelid, and she sniffed it back.

  “Did you honestly expect Gabriel to mourn you for the next sixty years?”

  A heated blush bloomed on her face, and she dropped her gaze to her tea. “No, but…”

  Yes. Sort of.

  “You expected him to move on, perhaps with a family, but you’d forgotten that would mean a new woman to love.” Serenity’s tone held no judgment, merely a statement of fact.

  Too bad the pale green beverage offered no answers for Jodie. She looked up into Serenity’s unruffled expression, a frown twisting her lips. “I just didn’t expect it to happen so quickly.”

  “For you, the lapse has been rapid. For Gabriel, the developments have taken a great deal longer. He mourned you, my dear. Mourned you well and deeply.”

  Good. At least she hadn’t been totally forgotten on Earth. “Is it wrong of me to be happy about that?”

  “No.” Serenity smiled. “Each of us wants to believe we were loved so much that those left behind feel some devastation at our loss. But we don’t expect them to feel such devastation forever.”

  “Of course not.”

  “So then, is it safe for us to assume you’ll allow Gabriel to complete his life journey with no more interference from you?”

  Jodie’s heart crawled into her throat. After a painful swallow, she nodded. Goodbye, Gabe. I’ll miss you. But I have to let you go.

  “Good.” Serenity broke a cookie in half on her plate. “Now tell me about bounty hunting. Do you enjoy the task?”

  The tea in her stomach roiled. “Yes.”

  “You don’t sound very certain. Is there anything wrong?”

  “Well…” She stared down into her empty cup.

  Serenity patted her forearm. “Go on, my dear. I’m here to help in any way I can.”

  Maybe if she rushed through the explanation, she wouldn’t have time to feel the embarrassment coursing through her again. On a deep inhale, she spilled her troubles in one long flood. “I understand and respect the Board’s judgment that I require more training before I venture out on my own, but, Serenity, does it have to be with Luc Asante?”

  The sage bit into a small crescent-shaped cookie before answering. “You and Luc were linked by the Board for a reason. And you do not have the right to question your assignment. From what I have observed, you two are well suited to one another.”

  Jodie gave a bitter laugh. “Are you sure you don’t have us confused with some other couple? Luc hates me.”

  “Luc does not hate you.”

  “Okay, so maybe hate’s too strong a word. He resents me. He thinks I’m too soft. He blames me for ruining his perfect record, for ruining his perfect existence here by simply showing up. Let’s face it.” She gestured at the scars on her arms, ran her hands down her legs to signify their existence there as well. “I’m about as imperfect as a spirit can get.”

  “And yet you keep those imperfections. In fact, I’d go so far as to say, knowing how Luc values perfection, you flaunt your scars under his nose like a matador with a red cape.”

  “That’s not true.” When Serenity didn’t reply right away, her conscience forced her to consider the wise woman’s words. Did she purposely wave her flaws in front of Luc because he demanded perfection? Hmmm… Maybe she did. “At least, I don’t flaunt the scars intentionally. But they’re a part of me, a reminder of what I survived on Earth. Do you want to know why I won’t erase them?”

  Serenity’s eyes lit up with interest.“If you’re willing to explain…”

  “Okay. See, here’s the thing.” She pulled her feet atop her opposite thighs. “Being here, I’m able to see my life with more detachment than I did on Earth. I screwed up. At one point, I gave up. And it wasn’t even the lowest point in my life. Losing my parents, suffering through all those horrid skin grafts, and leaving behind everything I knew when I was a kid; that was all a thousand times more painful than what happened with Gabe. But I forgot that I’d survived all that pain. I’d forgotten how strong I really was.”

  Serenity nodded. “I’m sure the alcohol and pills had a great deal to do with your lack of clarity that night.”

  “Maybe. Regardless. If I keep my scars, I’m going to remember all those times I suffered, but struggled on. And next time, I won’t be so quick to give up.” She tilted her head, studying Serenity from every angle. “Does that make sense to you?”

  “Yes. But more importantly, I’m glad it makes sense to you. Perhaps you should share this newfound wisdom with Luc. If he understood your reasoning behind keeping the scars, he might even encourage you when your doubts overwhelm you.”

  Ha. Sean had given her similar advice on their return trip here. Not that she planned to follow through for either of them. The idea of Luc’s mocking laughter should she spill her guts gave her the resolve to remain mute on this topic at all times in his presence. She shook her head.

  “You disagree?” Serenity asked.

  “We butt heads constantly. Over everything.”

  “For instance?”

  “For instance, he tends to go after bounties like a battering ram—”

  “While you use a gentler persuasion,” Serenity finished, waving a cookie like a conductor’s baton. “This is why you are well suited to be partners. You play off each other’s strengths and weaknesses.”

  “The playing is what bothers me.” She clapped a hand over her mouth. Two seconds too late.

  Understanding lit in Serenity’s eyes. “Ah, so that’s what worries you.”

  “I don’t know if I can face him again after…” She leaned across the table and dropped her voice to a mere whisper. “Well… you know.”

  “Why? You enjoyed your ‘you know,’ didn’t you?”

  “Yes.” An infern
o exploded in her cheeks, part shame and part resentment. “But to him, apparently it was just another ho-hum experience.”

  Serenity’s lips quirked. “I sincerely doubt that.”

  “Doubt all you want. He came right out and told me nothing unusual happened between us.”

  “When?”

  “Right before we came to this hut.” She threw her hands in the air, slapped them on her lap. “How am I supposed to work with a guy like that?”

  Serenity nodded, but amusement still crinkled the lines near her eyes. “You’ll have to find a way. Remember those scars you’re so proud of? When Luc gets under your skin, simply take a moment to look at your scars. You have more courage than you realize.”

  Maybe. “But what if it happens again? The melding, I mean.”

  “Would you be tempted to allow it to happen again?”

  “No!”

  Silence greeted her denial. A wall rose up between them as the quiet grew longer and more uncomfortable.

  Finally, Jodie squirmed. “Maybe.”

  Serenity quirked a brow.

  “Okay. More than maybe. Probably. I mean, I never felt anything so exhilarating in my life. And if Luc raised those feelings in me again, I don’t think I’d be able to resist him. Why would I turn down such bliss? Even with Luc.”

  The Elder beamed like afternoon sunshine. “I appreciate your honesty. But let me ask you this: if it did happen again, would you run headlong to Earth, seeking Gabriel or some other person to assuage your guilt?”

  “No.” This time she had no hesitation, no reason to second-guess her answer. “I know life on Earth is over for me. I have to make my peace here. At least until my time comes to move on.” She twisted her lips and snorted a burst of air. “Besides, Gabe found a new life without me. Why shouldn’t I do the same?”

  Serenity’s smile flashed warmth and light throughout the room. “I think we’re done here, Jodie. Unless you have any other issues you’d like to discuss?”

  Jodie shook her head. “What I really want to do is sleep for a long time, and then, when I’m fully rested, get back to work. I have a lot to prove to you.” And to myself, as well. Before she completed the thought or even strengthened her resolve, the walls around her evaporated. She found herself standing in the center of the Elders’ Auditorium again, this time alone. The straw hut, the table and tea, and Serenity had all disappeared into the ether. On trembling limbs, Jodie stumbled up the aisle and outside of the massive room, into the Reception Area. The crowd’s hum assailed her ears, and the bright light momentarily blinded her.

  When she finally blinked her vision into focus, Sean Martino hovered near her elbow. “Are you okay? What did they say? Are they going to let you stay here? What happened?”

  His eagerness reminded Jodie of a hyperactive golden retriever, and she slapped a hand through the air. “Down, boy, down!”

  “But what’d they say?”

  Her temples throbbed, and she pressed her fingertips to the sides of her skull. “If I threw a stick off a cliff, would you fetch it?”

  He grinned. “Okay, I get it. I’m a nuisance.”

  Yeah, he did get it. And despite her exhaustion, despite her annoyance, a smile crept over her face. And a traitorous thought popped into her head: Why couldn’t she have been paired with him instead of Luc? Serenity’s gentle admonishment echoed around her. You do not have the right to question your assignment.

  “Come on,” Sean said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “I’ll take you to the Halfway House.”

  She pulled away from his embrace, craning her neck to look at the closed door leading to the auditorium. “What about Luc?”

  “He’s already gone back.”

  Big surprise. Well, if he expected her to fall apart simply because he could dismiss her so easily, he was sadly mistaken. That Jodie had remained behind on Earth. A new Jodie had returned to the Afterlife, determined to be the best bounty hunter the Board had ever seen.

  Chapter 21

  The dream returned, more vivid than before. This time, Luc actually felt the spring breeze whisper against his cheeks as he stood in the parking lot. The locals had predicted rain for later in the day, and the air definitely held that tinge of heaviness brought on by increasing humidity. Even the birds sensed the coming storm and rested in high pine branches rather than exert the effort to circle above the rock wall.

  Beside him, Matt hauled their backpacks from the rear of the SUV and dropped them on the ground. “So it’s really over between you two?”

  During the drive up, Luc had told Matt about his coming meeting with the divorce attorney on Monday. Matt, best man at Luc and Daphne’s wedding, hadn’t shown the least glimmer of surprise.

  “It was over a long time ago,” Luc replied through gritted teeth. “It just took me ‘til now to cut the noose from around my neck.”

  While his feet kicked up dust, Matt murmured, “Think she’ll go away quietly?”

  “Have you met Daphne?” Luc retorted. “You think she ever backs down from a fight quietly?”

  Matt’s gaze remained focused on the ground. “Probably not. Which is why, I assume, you’re seeing the attorney before confronting her?”

  “If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s you don’t fight a battle unless you’re fully armed.” Anger swamped Luc, and he slammed the trunk door with force. “She actually told me this morning that she wants to talk to me about Castelan. I wish to God she’d let that go already. Amity-For-All is dead and buried, no matter what she has to say. Meanwhile, I want the attorney to lock up all my financial holdings—corporate and personal—before I confront Daphne with the divorce papers. This way she can’t drain my bank accounts out of spite.”

  “So I guess it comes down to how much you want to pay to buy your freedom.”

  “Oh, I’ll be generous with her. The last thing I want at this stage is more animosity between us. I just don’t intend to give her everything plus my socks.” He slung his pack on his back and hoisted it up, swaying under the heavy weight. “Come on. Let’s climb. For the next few hours I don’t want to think about Daphne or what this marriage is going to cost me.”

  The climb began normal as always. He and Matt had engaged in the activity for years and over that time had developed an easy rhythm.

  In his sleep, reliving those last few moments of ignorant bliss, Luc heard the eagle’s squawk ringing in his ears. He turned to shout something down to Matt, caught sight of Matt’s fist closing around a loose rock. Whatever he said, lost now in the shrouds of time, caused Matt to laugh. Refocusing his gaze upward, Luc clamped the carabiner and swung toward the looming ledge. He landed easily, released the clamp, and waited for his friend to follow. But he never saw Matt again.

  On an enraged screech, the mother bird flew toward his face, talons unsheathed and ready to strike. Instinctively, Luc’s arm shot up in protection mode. His feet lost their traction, and he skidded, plummeting down, down, down…

  He jolted awake on a scream. Sweat-drenched, with his heart pounding like a jackhammer, Luc shot up in his bed. Christ! Breathe. In, out, in, out, in, out…

  He didn’t know how long he sat there, blankets strangling his waist, while he pressed a hand to his chest to prevent his heart from flying out. When his pulse finally slowed to a steadier pace, he kicked his way free of the bedcovers and stood on legs shakier than a newborn giraffe’s.

  What the hell was happening to him? Why did he keep dreaming about that day?

  Placide’s voice echoed in his head. It is not I who needs to come to terms with unfinished business.

  Yeah, well, it wasn’t him, either. Luc had figured out long ago that Daphne had always valued his paycheck over his heart. Case closed. Except that between the dream and the memories it instilled, resentment brewed like espresso in his veins: black and boiling. Dammit. How the hell could he exorcise Daphne’s betrayal for good with nothing to do but sleep and stare at these four walls? Especially since he and Jodie were both on enf
orced hiatus, and Sean was too busy picking up the slack to play their orb game.

  He might as well take a stroll to Jodie’s room. No doubt, she felt the same antsy anxiety as he. After all, he thought, rising to conjure up a new t-shirt and jeans, misery always welcomed company.

  ~~~~

  “What’s the one food from Earth you miss?”

  On a two-ton sigh, Luc swiveled in his chair at the counter so Jodie wouldn’t see his eyes roll into the back of his head. He wouldn’t want to hurt her feelings. An odd sentiment for him, but there it was. They’d made a pact to start over, and he’d respect that pact in every way he could, including holding his tongue when she did, or in this case, said something idiotic.

  Unfortunately, the endless monotony was wreaking havoc on both of them. And really, there was ab-so-fucking-lute-ly nothing to do. No books, no television, no outside distractions, nothing but hour after hour spent staring at blank walls or each other. The eternal confinement had them bored stupid and at times, irritable. No surprise Jodie’s current question stomped on his wilting patience.

  Not that he blamed her for trying to start a conversation with such an inane topic. Each time she attempted to open a discussion with anything that might touch on his past, he’d erected a barrier stronger than the Berlin Wall. Since the Afterlife had no weather to remark upon, food must have seemed the only obvious avenue available to combat the ennui of silence and inactivity. Despite their circumstances, though, he wasn’t really in the mood for chitchat. Even in life, he’d never been a small talk kinda guy.

  “C’mon, Luc,” she exclaimed. “Answer me.”

  He swerved back to face her. “What do you want me to say? I haven’t thought about food in eons. What’s the point? No matter how much I salivate about the tenderloin at Le Cirque, if Sirio Maccioni popped up and personally set the plate before me…” He slapped his hand flat on the counter. “…I wouldn’t be able to eat it. And, no offense, but I certainly don’t want to sit here for God-knows-how-long comparing tastebuds like we’re on some kind of awkward blind date.”